I’m not generally what one would call a crafts person—I didn’t grow up learning how to sew or knit or do woodwork. The times that I’ve tried to learn, the attention to detail at some point gets the better of me and I give up in frustration. It’s not a part of my personality I’m proud of, but it’s real.
Thank you for the gift of this story Freya. I feel in connection with all the makers of history when I make something - craft something. Our forbears never used an iphone, but they stitched or cooked or carved or cared for plants and animals.
Beautiful. And I LOVE how this long-term project has become more and more beautiful to you with time 🩷 quilting and weaving both call to me though I have very little experience with either - they both feel so rhythmic and grounding.
I heard Yunkaporta once on a podcast and completely forgot about his book - thank you for sharing those wonderful quotes. And I love to think of my writing self as the queen of swords (air) and my grounded self as the queen of coins (earth)!
thanks so much--and I feel the same--drawn to it thinking about how much goes into it, centuries of hands working thread, etc. I really loved Yubkaporta’s book--it’s rich with many things that make so much sense and rarely articulated so well with humor, beauty, and self awareness. Really good. 👏
I've come back to this after a crazy weekend to give it the attention it deserves. This piece is craft. Lines of prose connecting ideas and delineating the spaces between them. A quilt within a quilt. Bravo!
Sometimes we need habits of being unhurried in order to carry our timid hearts. The lengthy and laggard strides of incremental motion creates a keen sensitivity to change. With each subtle iteration we are altered and aware, adapted and improved.
So beautiful. I love the symbolism of the journey of your lives together stitched into the quilt. I’m crocheting Christmas gifts right now no as I occasionally pull out hairs of mine that have tangled in with the yarn, I’m struck my the parts of me that will live on in these gifts. After reading your piece I’m also thinking about the experience and connections that will live on in them as well. So lovely.
I’ve come to greatly appreciate hand made things. I’m so saddened by how much more it can cost to create them. My crochet projects costs so much more to make than if I were to buy something from the store, likely created by a machine or my under paid worker. There’s something just so awful about that fact.
thanks so much Kim. I love that you are making gifts--and I join you in lamenting that even the materials are more costly because of how the world works. But I'm so glad we can still find connections in hand-made objects that we make and give others. Love that you're doing that. 💜
Crafting is drawing to me. Everything is drawing to me. Singing is drawing with the voice the breath. Sewing is drawing with thread and fabric. Painting is drawing with paint. Even washing dishes is a kind of drawing. The way we place the plates to dry each one of us doing these drawings slightly differently according to our age beliefs ability thoughts while doing.
All of these things are a form of mark making of responding to life’s events.
The way I make bread is different from the way my son makes it yet each uses the same ingredients.
And each loaf is valid in its own right.
Joseph Beuys said everyone is an artist and he was right. As we create our daily lives make our beds choose our cleaning stuffs or cook our food, we are all drawing.
We are drawing the spaces in between with our steps with our breaths and sometimes with our tears.
We are all creating all the time.
Your quilt is the most lovely drawing of your life since beginning it. The breaths you make while stitching add ‘colour’ to its depths. The thoughts you think all adding to the energetic resonance of its story.
And maybe that’s why it’s not finished yet as it continues to evolve with you.
Throw judgement out the window. Your story is yours not anyone else’s and your stitches are each a moment in time drawing your life in the most beautiful way.
I love your quilt. May it carry on being made for a long time to come until the moment when you decide it is complete.
This is beautiful--yes! I love that you think of it all as drawing, and of how that becomes part of all that we do and make with our hands. I'm going to think about that as I do the dishes. :) Thank you so much for reading and sharing this. 💜
Freya, there is so much tenderness and depth in this one. I can feel your spilling love for your son and the sadness that lies in the undercurrent of him leaving an empty nest behind. Ahh how much does it cost to be a human, to put our hands to work to create a gift for those we love. I am moved to tears with your imperfectly beautiful handwoven quilt, it makes me think of my mother and her mother when they used to make quilts that beautiful and ragged - the warmth from it felt like the much needed hug in times of need. I am sure your son will appreciate it deeply in his times of need. Thank you for sharing this, I needed to read this tender essay today. Much love 💜🌼
Love slow burn projects. Also, my daughter is turning 16 this week, and I realized yesterday that she used to speak French fluently and doesn’t anymore and somehow I just didn’t keep track of this and let it slip away, as we moved around, and I had this sinking feeling of man, I really dropped the ball on that parenting project, but this makes me feel like, eh, she can pick it back up if she really wants to.
💜 isn’t it so hard--we want to give them these things and then they have to find their way to it, they’ll rarely take it from us. But we can leave crumbs....
I've tried weaving, quilting, crochet, many unfinished or like the stuffed bunny, pitiful. The first pillow I tried to make I sewed half inside out.
When my Mom's Alzheimer's progressed, I sat with her blue fleece jacket, now too tight to zip, and hand sewed darker blue triangles into it to widen the girth. It was peaceful sitting with mom and sewing. She wore her jacket with the yellow bunny felt pin till she died, less than two years later. I have the pin.
thank you Susan--and thanks for sharing your story with your mom--I was talking with a friend about how each act of making like that is a meditation on those you're making it for--and how the love is so much a part of it. 💜
So much. I've been thinking about how I cook rice, which was how I learned to cook rice, which was to cover, simmer and never lift the lid. For years I've been making rice that sticks to the pot.
A friend said he lifts the cover and stirs and that's how his mom, who was born in Japan does it. So now, I am cooking rice gently and with love. Slowly stirring and moving the rice grains in the simmering waters. It comes out perfect every time.
What a beautiful piece you have woven here Freya - both the writing and the quilt.
A sense of nostalgia arose in me as I read. That reminder of my son's ( now 18 and just had first year at University :-) ) hand in mine when he was little. The soft innocent warm entwining of his trusting clasp enclosed in my supposedly older and wiser hand.
This quilt is, and will be, such a precious gift to your son and yourself. Seems like the Universe knew that it was something that needed to take time for that story to unfold.
Thanks Jo--you are in the thick of it too, figuring out who our children are in relationship to us as they become adults. It's funny the way things take shape in ways we can't anticipate--and that's what becomes meaningful. 💜
Absolutely gorgeous. I’ve had the same knitting project going since my daughter was in 3rd grade (she, too, is now a senior) and I finally threw up my hands last summer and gave it to my mom to finish. Not quite the beautiful, poignant ending you’ve captured here!
But I am also always dwelling in a wordscape, and find myself craving a craft, too, beyond the mental contortions I do to convince myself that cooking is like that for me (it’s really not).
You’ve inspired me to not delay pursuing that line of inquiry a little more intentionally with this lovely and contextualized piece.
I also, just last night, had the district felt-experience of starting the transition towards older mom/elder. It kind of took my breath away, but actually in a good way. I’m wondering what teche will be part of that for me, a complement to the endless stream of words and ideas! thank you for this. ❤️
I know what you mean, that sense that can hit you all of a sudden of realizing we're becoming older. So funny you had a similar knitting project--but really, I love that you handed it to your mom to finish, because really it's moving from generation to generation to be complete! Beautiful! 💜
Thank you for the gift of this story Freya. I feel in connection with all the makers of history when I make something - craft something. Our forbears never used an iphone, but they stitched or cooked or carved or cared for plants and animals.
Beautiful. And I LOVE how this long-term project has become more and more beautiful to you with time 🩷 quilting and weaving both call to me though I have very little experience with either - they both feel so rhythmic and grounding.
I heard Yunkaporta once on a podcast and completely forgot about his book - thank you for sharing those wonderful quotes. And I love to think of my writing self as the queen of swords (air) and my grounded self as the queen of coins (earth)!
thanks so much--and I feel the same--drawn to it thinking about how much goes into it, centuries of hands working thread, etc. I really loved Yubkaporta’s book--it’s rich with many things that make so much sense and rarely articulated so well with humor, beauty, and self awareness. Really good. 👏
This is so so beautiful.
Thanks so much! I am a huge fan of your work--means a lot to find this comment today. 💜 🙏
Touching x
I've come back to this after a crazy weekend to give it the attention it deserves. This piece is craft. Lines of prose connecting ideas and delineating the spaces between them. A quilt within a quilt. Bravo!
ah thanks so much John! 💜
Sometimes we need habits of being unhurried in order to carry our timid hearts. The lengthy and laggard strides of incremental motion creates a keen sensitivity to change. With each subtle iteration we are altered and aware, adapted and improved.
yes! 💜
So beautiful. I love the symbolism of the journey of your lives together stitched into the quilt. I’m crocheting Christmas gifts right now no as I occasionally pull out hairs of mine that have tangled in with the yarn, I’m struck my the parts of me that will live on in these gifts. After reading your piece I’m also thinking about the experience and connections that will live on in them as well. So lovely.
I’ve come to greatly appreciate hand made things. I’m so saddened by how much more it can cost to create them. My crochet projects costs so much more to make than if I were to buy something from the store, likely created by a machine or my under paid worker. There’s something just so awful about that fact.
thanks so much Kim. I love that you are making gifts--and I join you in lamenting that even the materials are more costly because of how the world works. But I'm so glad we can still find connections in hand-made objects that we make and give others. Love that you're doing that. 💜
That quilt that you are working on is beautiful. :).
💜🙏
Crafting is drawing to me. Everything is drawing to me. Singing is drawing with the voice the breath. Sewing is drawing with thread and fabric. Painting is drawing with paint. Even washing dishes is a kind of drawing. The way we place the plates to dry each one of us doing these drawings slightly differently according to our age beliefs ability thoughts while doing.
All of these things are a form of mark making of responding to life’s events.
The way I make bread is different from the way my son makes it yet each uses the same ingredients.
And each loaf is valid in its own right.
Joseph Beuys said everyone is an artist and he was right. As we create our daily lives make our beds choose our cleaning stuffs or cook our food, we are all drawing.
We are drawing the spaces in between with our steps with our breaths and sometimes with our tears.
We are all creating all the time.
Your quilt is the most lovely drawing of your life since beginning it. The breaths you make while stitching add ‘colour’ to its depths. The thoughts you think all adding to the energetic resonance of its story.
And maybe that’s why it’s not finished yet as it continues to evolve with you.
Throw judgement out the window. Your story is yours not anyone else’s and your stitches are each a moment in time drawing your life in the most beautiful way.
I love your quilt. May it carry on being made for a long time to come until the moment when you decide it is complete.
Happy drawing stitching days to us all.
This is beautiful--yes! I love that you think of it all as drawing, and of how that becomes part of all that we do and make with our hands. I'm going to think about that as I do the dishes. :) Thank you so much for reading and sharing this. 💜
Freya, there is so much tenderness and depth in this one. I can feel your spilling love for your son and the sadness that lies in the undercurrent of him leaving an empty nest behind. Ahh how much does it cost to be a human, to put our hands to work to create a gift for those we love. I am moved to tears with your imperfectly beautiful handwoven quilt, it makes me think of my mother and her mother when they used to make quilts that beautiful and ragged - the warmth from it felt like the much needed hug in times of need. I am sure your son will appreciate it deeply in his times of need. Thank you for sharing this, I needed to read this tender essay today. Much love 💜🌼
ah Swarna you know. I love that. It’s so hard, and yet it’s beautiful all the same. Thanks for reading my friend. It means so much. 💜
I agree and that alone makes it all the more worthwhile! 💜
Love slow burn projects. Also, my daughter is turning 16 this week, and I realized yesterday that she used to speak French fluently and doesn’t anymore and somehow I just didn’t keep track of this and let it slip away, as we moved around, and I had this sinking feeling of man, I really dropped the ball on that parenting project, but this makes me feel like, eh, she can pick it back up if she really wants to.
💜 isn’t it so hard--we want to give them these things and then they have to find their way to it, they’ll rarely take it from us. But we can leave crumbs....
I've tried weaving, quilting, crochet, many unfinished or like the stuffed bunny, pitiful. The first pillow I tried to make I sewed half inside out.
When my Mom's Alzheimer's progressed, I sat with her blue fleece jacket, now too tight to zip, and hand sewed darker blue triangles into it to widen the girth. It was peaceful sitting with mom and sewing. She wore her jacket with the yellow bunny felt pin till she died, less than two years later. I have the pin.
This is a beautiful piece.
thank you Susan--and thanks for sharing your story with your mom--I was talking with a friend about how each act of making like that is a meditation on those you're making it for--and how the love is so much a part of it. 💜
So much. I've been thinking about how I cook rice, which was how I learned to cook rice, which was to cover, simmer and never lift the lid. For years I've been making rice that sticks to the pot.
A friend said he lifts the cover and stirs and that's how his mom, who was born in Japan does it. So now, I am cooking rice gently and with love. Slowly stirring and moving the rice grains in the simmering waters. It comes out perfect every time.
Kind of a tangential thought. 💜
beautiful--love that. 💜
What a beautiful piece you have woven here Freya - both the writing and the quilt.
A sense of nostalgia arose in me as I read. That reminder of my son's ( now 18 and just had first year at University :-) ) hand in mine when he was little. The soft innocent warm entwining of his trusting clasp enclosed in my supposedly older and wiser hand.
This quilt is, and will be, such a precious gift to your son and yourself. Seems like the Universe knew that it was something that needed to take time for that story to unfold.
Thank you for sharing this heart felt story. Jo 🩵
Thanks Jo--you are in the thick of it too, figuring out who our children are in relationship to us as they become adults. It's funny the way things take shape in ways we can't anticipate--and that's what becomes meaningful. 💜
Quilts are amazing & this story is as well. Thank you for a beautiful start to this rainy, Fall day.
thanks Sean. 💜🙏
Absolutely gorgeous. I’ve had the same knitting project going since my daughter was in 3rd grade (she, too, is now a senior) and I finally threw up my hands last summer and gave it to my mom to finish. Not quite the beautiful, poignant ending you’ve captured here!
But I am also always dwelling in a wordscape, and find myself craving a craft, too, beyond the mental contortions I do to convince myself that cooking is like that for me (it’s really not).
You’ve inspired me to not delay pursuing that line of inquiry a little more intentionally with this lovely and contextualized piece.
I also, just last night, had the district felt-experience of starting the transition towards older mom/elder. It kind of took my breath away, but actually in a good way. I’m wondering what teche will be part of that for me, a complement to the endless stream of words and ideas! thank you for this. ❤️
I know what you mean, that sense that can hit you all of a sudden of realizing we're becoming older. So funny you had a similar knitting project--but really, I love that you handed it to your mom to finish, because really it's moving from generation to generation to be complete! Beautiful! 💜
haha that's a perfect framing of the situation! :) :) :)
This was a lovely read, Freya. What a wonderful creation for your son and for yourself!
thanks so much John. 💜